Good day to you, squire.
You may have noticed that our present state of capitalism offers an abundance of opportunities to profit from, not so much the betterment of the world, but from rabid feasting on the bones of a world that is short on fat and heavy on marrow.
Robber Baron Industries is where the opportunist, the scoundrel, the scalawag, and the dastard use their money, influence, and narcissism to plunder aplenty as the world’s markets burn.
Short selling, options trading, the plundering of the oversold – we’re here for it all.
To be sure, we shall break no laws as we engage in our particular brand of culture capitalism. Rather, we break with the norms of empathy and communal concern to catch the money others have not seen falling from the sky.
If there’s cash to be made in the munitions industry, let slip the dogs of war. If there’s opportunity to ravage the carcass of the overblown cannabis sector, let’s open a nice brandy to enjoy between corporeal consumption spells. Oil? Coal? Blood-stained diamonds? If they’re to drop in value, let us profit from bets against them that revel in the failures of their believers.
Market downturns have an inarguable depressive effect on newcomers, who are always looking to spot the moment things will turn bullish, and nostalgists who long for the days when green was the colour of every chart.
Begone foul optimist! Scoot, pollyanna! Scram, idealist, we’re doing capitalist deals with your money and have no time to dwell on your feelings.
We encourage our readers to seize on opportunities as they see them, wherever they present, be that through short-selling or investing in predatory financiers offering Faustian bargains to ailing companies prolonging their agony a few more quarters.
Downturns are just gravity, and with gravity comes gravy.
Let the Streets Run Red With the Blood of the Bagholder.